In Her Court by Edie Bryant

Author:Edie Bryant [Bryant, Edie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-03-03T00:00:00+00:00

14

Ella

I doubted my decision to break up with Camille many times ever since that phone call. I had blocked her number because I knew after seeing just one single call from her, I wouldn’t be able to not answer, and just speaking to her would change my mind.

When I got the urge to call her, I called Sarah instead. She was always incredibly supportive.

She had been expecting this to happen, of course, but thankfully she didn’t rub it in my face at all. She never even mentioned the fact that she had predicted this would happen.

In fact, I think she was actually disappointed too. She had hung out with me and Camille a few times at my place and she actually really liked her. Like me, she believed she was different from Jenna. That her promise actually had weight. But she also understood why I couldn’t put my life on hold for years only to be her secret.

Although I really would never want to take volleyball away from her, I’d admit I was hoping she’d choose me, anyway. I thought maybe she’d just decide that coming out was worth it to keep me.

But she didn’t. I knew she wouldn’t. I knew what volleyball meant to her. It was about more than money, it was her passion. Really her only passion, besides me. How could she just decide to give that up?

In my heart, I still felt that we were going to end up together. Even if we reconnected years from now. I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was the one for me and anyone else would only be a step down.

Though I never fell as low as calling her, I hadn’t let her go entirely. I still watched all of her televised games. I didn’t even tell Sarah about this; I knew she’d disapprove.

As she should have. It wasn’t productive to my healing at all. But I couldn’t resist the chance to see her, even if it only was through a volleyball match.

Which, actually, it wasn’t always. Sometimes they got shots of her off the court on a break, downing some water. I always melted when I saw her run her fingers over her thick brown hair that became matted from sweat. I loved the way that, in her exhaustion, she always let some water dribble down to her jersey. She was perfection.

As good as it felt to see her, it was doubly as painful. And it always made me reconsider my options. Was this really the right choice? How could it be? When she made me so incredibly happy? And I was incredibly miserable without her.

Maybe being a secret really wasn’t as big of a deal as I was making it out to be. Maybe I could get over this. Maybe…

But no. That was the same thing I told myself when I got with her in the first place. I only rationalized like this because being with her was so incredibly wonderful. But that didn’t change how I felt.

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